As we approach the observance of the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001, I find myself continuing to struggle with how to apply Jesus’ teachings about forgiveness. It so happens that the anniversary falls on a Sunday and the appointed gospel reading for the day is The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35).
This parable is illustrative of the fact that forgiveness is an essential aspect of the Christian experience. In fact, Twentieth Century theologian Reinhold Niebuhr once said, “forgiveness is the central issue of theology.” It begins in God’s love and is endorsed by it. Therefore, when any one of us forgives, it is done within the context of another forgiveness, which possesses immeasurable dimensions. Forgiveness plumbs the depths of our love and assays its quality and will to endure.
I believe the section of Matthew’s gospel in which this parable is set originally served as a sort of catechism for early Christians. Readers identify with Peter and his questions, then learn from the responses of Jesus. The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant is Jesus’ answer to Peter’s question regarding how many times we should forgive others. We are supposed to see ourselves as those who have been forgiven but are not very good at forgiveness.
Here's where my struggle with forgiveness has led me thus far.
Forgiveness is not natural for humans. It is not some innate, natural human emotion. Vengeance, retribution, and violence are natural for humans. As Alexander Pope said, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Why is that? Because, we have to work at it and we must have divine help to accomplish it.
The courage to forgive others begins in the humility that comes from the realization that we have been forgiven. If we want to learn what forgiveness means, we have to begin by accepting the forgiveness God offers. So, every Sunday the Church reminds us that we gather as those who have been forgiven so we can become souls who concentrate on learning to forgive others. There’s a reason why the Peace is exchanged after we have confessed our sins and received absolution.
To refuse to forgive is to block the forgiveness God offers to us. George Herbert once said, “He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven.” To savor and nurture anger, resentment, thoughts of vengeance, is to turn away from the healing power of God in our lives and in the human family. To forgive is to open up spaces for God’s love to enter and accomplish what we could not accomplish on our own.
The parable shows that forgiveness is about conduct, not mathematics. Peter wants to know how many times a person is expected to forgive before one is no longer under any obligation to forgive. He wants Jesus to quantify forgiveness. By using an astronomical number, “seventy times seven,” Jesus is saying that forgiveness has no limits. It is extravagant, effusive, and without limit. We are challenged to take the limits off our love and to be committed to constantly moving beyond what we had thought was the most we were capable of doing.
Let me hasten to say that to forgive another who has truly wronged you does not mean that you must continue to put yourself in harm’s way again and again. We can still forgive those who hurt us through the grace of the One who brought forgiveness to us at such a great price, then step away. Forgiveness does not remove the responsibility or the consequences of wrongful or harmful actions. It may or may not bring about healing results in the lives of those who are forgiven, but it certainly allows for healing in our own lives.
What makes the forgiveness of God truly complete is the constant pilgrimage of forgiveness, which moves us beyond the self-imposed limits of love toward God who is both the source and the goal. As Thomas Merton said, “When we extend our hand to the enemy, God reaches out to both of us. For it is God first of all who extends our hand to the enemy” (The Hidden Ground of Love, 141).
May God help us learn what it means to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.